Thursday, December 4, 2008


When Jimmy and I first got married I spent my days asking him what was wrong. If he came in quiet, I'd run and be all over him asking and asking what was wrong. He of course would say nothing was wrong... but I am persistent and I would keep asking and finally he would snap at me "now something's wrong, leave me alone."

So, 15 years later, I've gotten more clever. I ask one time what the problem is and then I leave it alone. Sometimes I'm sure there's a problem and sometimes I just want there to be a problem. Most of the time I hear later that work sucked or someone was a bad driver (it's never Jimbo though).

Most of the time when I ask my short friend Keegan to clean a room and I have asked more than once, he will start crying and saying " why are you yelling at me?" For some reason this really sets me off. Because, I feel that I am the most patient, bestest, calmest, nicest mom ever. I don't beat anyone with belts, scream at them, throw their friends out. I am calm. Okay every once in a while, I yell, but not very often. After 15 years the yell is going out of me. So... when ever Keegan says that I'm yelling. I scream right next to him "I'M NOT YELLING". I understand that this is very mature of me. I feel like he should know the difference though. So, I feel very mature while I'm doing it.

So... to make the longest story ever short. Here's me being mature again... My dad called and wanted Jimbo to sign some Dr. stuff to release Grandma to drive. So, I says to the man "I don't know how much longer grandma should be driving."

the man: "I'm not taking away her drivers license she's fine"

mi: "have you seen her car lately? It looks like she was driving in downtown Baghdad. She has a huge dent in her bumper from last week... she has no idea how it happened."

the man: "I'm not taking her driver's license"

mi: "I didn't say you needed to today, I'm just saying she shouldn't be driving much longer, a 90 yr old man just killed someone because his family felt bad taking his license"

the man: "She's not 90"

mi: "okay a 75 yr old lady killed 5 people last year driving into a post office"

the man: "why are you yelling?"

okay here's the part where I stop for about 3 seconds and think "am I yelling?" Nope, I'm not...

mi: "THIS IS YELLING" (which by the way was at the top of my lungs) and then very calmly "that was yelling, this is not."

Then I promptly hung up on him. I'm not going to lie... it felt great to actually yell and even better to just hang up the phone. Does this mean I'm ultra hormonal or super right? Or should the man just learn what I learned 15 years ago... which is don't make someone mad when they aren't?


Renee said...

Since I'm not related to you, and so few people in your family know who I am I think that I can comment on this one without getting into trouble. (Since apparently on one in your bloodline, or married to wants to touch this with a 10 ft pole, and who can blame them. HA,HA, HA, LOL, LOL again, hee, hee, hee, hardee har...joking) Enjoyed the flow and structure of this piece. Do you know what happened to my mailbox?

Teri said...

OH MY GOD! I'm kind of a jerk about reading posts and I wont say I'm laughing if it wasn't funny, but this seriously made me NEED to laugh so hard but can't because both husband nad small kids are sleeping that I had to cover my mouth and wheeze heavily to laugh. LOL I think you are just SUPER RIGHT that's what I think. Haha! I tell my husband he's yelling all the time when he isn't....lmao consider yourself followed.

Teri said...

Wow, I totally didn't proofread that comment. lol Sorry.